So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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