And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
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I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
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My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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