I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
