try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize