put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
