so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
