I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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