You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize