Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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