Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
