3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize