we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
