seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
