pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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