Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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