Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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