yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
