You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
