Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
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im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
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I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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