do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize