Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
