If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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