Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
