I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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