what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
and you fell through a lawn chair
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
