On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table