Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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