I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.