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• (586): View more from Michigan

  On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

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• (951): View more from California

  This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Like the friend zone has no room for winks

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table

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