Where is the hickey?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend