oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Come share oat with me in your robe
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?