just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
