I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
