He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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