i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
