I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Randomize
