Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
