plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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