can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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