If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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