Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
