i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
