guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
All I want is dick and wine.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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