Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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