escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
