was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
