Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
