he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
