can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
