She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
