I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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