I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
