The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
This is the high leading the old right now
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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