You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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