I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
