is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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