so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
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I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
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When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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