I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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