C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
