saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
