Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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