Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
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Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
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I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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