I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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