Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
