Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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