Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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