What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
