I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
