my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
