Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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